


Craigslist Gold

by Shiny9Tails



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Sun & Moon | Pokemon Sun & Moon Versions, Pocket Monsters: Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon | Pokemon Ultra Sun & Ultra Moon Versions
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Attempt at Humor, Body Worship, Craigslist, Enthusiastic Consent, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Gratuitous Smut, Guzma and Plumeria used to date, Guzma hates his job, Guzma is Bisexual, I Tried, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), No Angst, Oh My God, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, One Shot, Porn with Feelings, Pornstars, Rough Kissing, Rough Sex, Smut, Some Humor, Tags Contain Spoilers, technically a coffee shop au, they were roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:07:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23786041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shiny9Tails/pseuds/Shiny9Tails
Summary: Guzma finds a cute new roommate on craigslist. But what secret is the little cutie hiding?
Relationships: Guzma & Plumeri | Plumeria, Guzma (Pokemon)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Craigslist Gold

With his legs draped over the arm of the couch, Guzma trolled the internet on his phone. It was after another boring day of working at that god awful cafe that forced him to take solace in his phone. His roommate and on-again-off-again girlfriend, Plumeria, was working at her dead-end job, paying her way through college. They weren't currently dating and her new beau kept hinting at kicking Guzma out so he could move in. While that pissed him off, he did want to be supportive which is why he started looking at Craigslist ads.

As he scrolled, he'd chuckle to himself or twist his face in disgust at ad after ad. There were some grade-A loonies out there. His gaze finally stopped at a house across town, his soon-to-be roommate standing out front.

The guy was the cutest twink he'd ever seen. Soft-looking, short, dark-brown hair that shaded warm chocolate-brown eyes.Skin that lay taut against lean musculature, except for his adorable babyface. Guzma's eyes roved over every inch the picture gave and found himself searching for his contact information.

He reigned himself in and looked at the prices the other man posted. They were weirdly reasonable so he dug further only to find the guys previous roommate had bounced without explanation. Even with that red flag, Guzma decided to take a chance and contact the cutie.

When the man said, "Hello?" over the phone, Guzma couldn't help but feel a shiver run down his spine. The man had clearly only woken up a few minutes ago and still had the hushed, husky voice to prove it. After a gulp, Guzma spoke to the man a bit and they ironed out the details. He would move in next Tuesday after work since Tuesdays were the slowest and his new roomie wouldn't be working. Strangely, the man only worked weekends, though Guzma guessed that's why he needed a roommate. As long as he wasn't paying for 99% of the bills, he didn't care.

A few days later, Guzma was packing his boxes into his car. Plumeria helped, but worried the whole time.

"Yeah he sounds great, but you found him on  _ Craigslist _ ."

Guzma huffed dismissively and pushed another box into the backseat.

"There's plenty of normal people on Craigslist too, Plum."

She laughed humorlessly and continued.

"Yeah and I can count them on one hand, Guz. You showed me the picture. You sure you're not making decisions with your dick again?"

Guzma leaned against the car and faced her, cheeks and ears aflame.

"Look Plums, I read through all the information  _ before _ I contacted him. Besides if shit goes south I know I got your couch to fall back on."

She laughed and hugged him tight.

"That's right, you big baby. No matter who I'm with, my couch is always open."

He hugged her back and drove away, waving absent-mindedly. Her new boyfriend better treat her right, or else he'd be back with a vengeance.

The guy was waving on the front lawn when Guzma drove into the driveway. He parked and got out of the car. He didn't miss the guy's eyes go wide as he stood up, but it wasn't an uncommon reaction in first meetings. Guzma was a tall guy with an intimidating figure. He didn't take it personally anymore.

The man cleared his throat and stuck his hand out.

"I'm Nettle Verdance. Can I assume you're Guzma?"

Guzma shook his hand firmly, but careful of the man's smaller bones.

"That's what it says on my I.D."

He smirked and Nettle relaxed a bit. They finished up the pleasantries and got to work unloading the boxes into Guzma's new room. By the time he finished unpacking the boxes, he was starving. He went into the living room to find Nettle so he could order them both take-out but was surprised to not find him there. Last he checked the guy was on the couch, channel-surfing while Guzma unpacked.

A clinking sound from the kitchen led him there and to his surprise, Nettle was standing at the stove. The shorter man had a wok in one hand and a ladle in the other, clearly stir-frying.

Nettle turned his head to acknowledge Guzma but was surprised to find his face almost touching the larger man's neck. Guzma placed one hand on each of his shoulders and loomed over him, watching him cook. He seemed fascinated by the movements Nettle was now doing on autopilot. He was so close, Nettle could smell his cologne over the smell of cooking food. He gulped and cleared his throat, seeming to snap Guzma out of his reverie. He backed away and Nettle silently mourned the loss of his touch.

"S-sorry. I've been told I have personal space issues."

Guzma rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, pulling a lock or two harshly. Nettle muttered a soft, "You're ok," but Guzma decided to make himself scarce, just in case. As soon as he was out of the room, Nettle buried his face in his hands and vibrated. His poor gay heart could barely take this. The man that was now his roommate was a fucking  _ God _ and seemed to manifest straight from his midnight fantasies. Poor Nettle was so sure the man was going to take him right there in the kitchen. Hell, Nettle didn't think he'd even put up a fight. From the moment Guzma stepped out of his car, Nettle had fallen  _ hard _ .

A few minutes later, Nettle brought out two plates of food, setting one down in front of his new roommate. Guzma thanked him and looked up from where he was sitting to apologize, but stopped short. He noticed Nettle had been wearing an apron while he was cooking, but only now knew what it said. It was all black except for the red text that read, "My meat is hand-rubbed."

It took Nettle a minute before he realized where Guzma was staring. He blushed and took off the offending apron.

"My uh... my coworkers thought they'd be funny and give me that for Christmas after they found out how much I like to cook."

Guzma nodded and went back to his food. After a little bit, he spoke up.

"You uh... you think you can teach me how to cook? The best I can do is eggs and toast... and a latte I guess." He laughed, "If you can even call that cooking."

Nettle smiled and agreed, making Guzma's chest warm.

And so they danced around their feelings for each other for a good six months, cautiously getting closer and closer. Nettle found out about Guzma's abusive past after a night of drunken shenanigans and Guzma found out about his the next day. They both resolved to be better than the men that raised them and grew even closer.

Even as they grew closer, questions remained. Such as, what did Nettle do for a living? What job paid so well that he only had to work weekends? And of course the most important question of all, "Does he like me as much as I like him?"

One night was all it took to answer all three.

It was after dinner and Guzma felt a little... backed up. So he went to his room and closed the door. Usually, he didn't need extra stimulation other than his hand and imagination, but today he decided to break the mold with some good ole porn.

He brought up Pornhub and searched around some good ole guy-on-guy. Nettle had been feeling the heat of summer and had taken off his shirt. Those lean muscles were what made Guzma need to jerk off in the first place.

He scrolled along until finding something that fit nicely into his fantasy. Titled, "Domestic Twink gets railed by Husband and Best Friend," the thumbnail showed all three going at it. Unfortunately, the man getting a blowjob was grabbing the twink by his face, obstructing it. That being said, the double-teamed man had a body that looked a lot like Nettle's. He popped in his headphones and pressed play.

It was all fine except for the acting of the husband and best friend. He kinda cringed a bit and fast-forwarded until the third man entered the room in a lacy pink apron and a tray of tea. He couldn't believe what he was seeing until the man opened his mouth and addressed the two men on the couch.

That was...that was Nettle's face...and voice.

A massive blush broke out over Guzma's face as he realized his roommate and secret crush was a pornstar. He paused the video and clicked on the picture of Nettle in the cast section. Maybe it was a one-time thing? Maybe he was completely mistaken?

The user page loaded up and Guzma was floored by the amount of videos there were. Sure enough, not only was there a picture of Nettle lounging over the arm of a couch with a grin on his face, but there was also a bio with his measurements. Same height, same weight, even the same birthplace! Guzma looked back at the picture. There was no way that wasn't his friend! Though the name he picked for himself was seriously cringeworthy. How did he come up with the name Neon Starburst?

He clicked back to the video. Would Nettle be ok with him watching this? His dick strained against his pants as he realized the whole time he had been around, Nettle had been getting pounded on the weekends. He palmed it as he thought. He didn't feel jealous at all about the whole thing. In fact, the thought of Nettle servicing dozens of men made him  _ hornier _ .

He peeked out his door to the door across the hall. Was Nettle asleep by now? He crept out and gently pressed an ear to the door. To his surprise, he could hear movement and soft gasps. He blushed and was about to move away since this was clearly not the time to ask questions. However, a tiny whimper stopped him in his tracks.

"...G-Guzmaaahhh..."

He stood there frozen for a moment, unsure if he had heard right. Then Nettle moaned a little louder, Guzma's name ringing clearly from his lips.

Guzma himself couldn't resist his lizard brain and dick fully so he knocked, suppressing the urge to open the door. Nettle eeped in surprise and scrambled to hide what he was doing. Finally, he opened the door, his toys hidden away. Guzma looked him over hungrily, pupils dilating as he realized the smaller man still had an erection as much as he tried to hide it. Nettle shivered all over, unused to the intensity of Guzma's gaze.

Finally, Guzma opened his mouth, the word "consent" ringing through his head.

"M-May I join you?"

Nettle's eyes widened as it clicked what Guzma was asking. His knees felt incredibly weak as he realized Guzma heard him...and wanted him. He nodded and stepped back to let him in.

Guzma's brain processed the answer and felt his body fill with desire. This was happening, this was for real.

Guzma grabbed Nettle's arm and pushed him against the wall, capturing his lips with his own roughly. Nettle's mouth opened in surprise and Guzma's tongue invaded, hungrily deepening the kiss. Nettle moaned, his eyes rolling at the intensity of the kiss. He pawed at Guzma's clothes, trying to find purchase as he desperately tried to keep up. Guzma misunderstood and instead took off his jacket, all without pausing in his oral assault. Nettle's fingers gripped at the muscle of Guzma's arms and felt faint. Guzma could easily break him and Nettle almost wanted him to.

Guzma's own hands roamed Nettle's petite body, stroking and touching every inch. He pinched Nettle's nipples from under his shirt and was rewarded with a breathy gasp. He abandoned Nettle's eager mouth and pulled his shirt off completely, kneeling to attack his now pointed nipples with a swirling tongue. Nettle held tight to Guzma's hair, inadvertently pulling it with every shudder. Guzma meanwhile held his body close to his own with one arm, while the opposite hand palmed and squeezed the other man's firm ass.

Every gasp and moan spurred Guzma on, teasing and biting the hardened points with reckless abandon. Nettle reeled with Guzma's every action, practically drooling as Guzma worshipped his body.

He felt his boxers slip away and felt his crush palm the bare skin of his ass. He squeezed and pulled, each hand covering an ass cheek with ease. Guzma pulled away from Nettle's tortured nipples and kissed down his front instead. Nettle couldn't help himself and one of his hands gravitated to his throbbing cock, grasping it tight like a lifeline.

To Nettle's surprise, Guzma pulled away, leaving him keening for his touch. In one fell swoop, Guzma picked him up bridal style before throwing him bodily onto the bed. Nettle bounced and fell facedown-ass-up. He heard a hungry growl behind him and shuddered. How big was Guzma? It had to be proportional, right? Oh shit, was he lubed up enough?

He looked behind him and saw Guzma drop his pants. His eyes widened in near horror. That thing was a monster! Nettle only had one toy that big and that was for when he didn't feel like walking the next day!

Guzma stroked it a little before gasping out, "Where's your lube and condoms? I don't wanna hurt ya."

Nettle felt a surge of affection as he searched through his bedside table. To be honest, Guzma was the first guy he met outside porn that suggested lube and a condom first. Goes to show you how shitty his taste in men was. He prayed Guzma would be different.

Nettle shuffled over to Guzma and gently stroked him, comparing his size to the condom in hand. Satisfied, he put it on for him, gently licking him as it went down. Guzma groaned and muttered, "Next time I wanna bust in your mouth first. Bet it'd feel amazing to feel those pretty lips around my cock..."

Nettle smiled cheekily and answered, "Not this time?"

A glimmer of admiration flickered in Guzma's eyes. He pushed Nettle back onto the bed and crawled on top of him, pinning him down. Then he bit down on the flesh of his shoulder, right where it met the neck. Nettle gasped and wriggled in blissful agony as Guzma marked him as his. He could feel their privates grinding against each other as Guzma lapped at the bite, attempting to lessen the pain.

Guzma lightly bit his ear and whispered, "Now your whole audience will know you're  _ mine _ ."

Nettle gasped in surprise and whispered back, "You knew?!"

Guzma chuckled and pulled away, snatching up the lube.

"Only for a few minutes. I accidentally found you on PornHub and was gonna ask you about it, but..."

He smiled sheepishly as he applied the lube to his hand.

"I kinda overheard."

Guzma gently pressed in a finger until he couldn't anymore. He curled it and easily found Nettle's prostate. Nettle squirmed and gasped, arching in pleasure. Guzma slipped in a second and Nettle arched harder, gasping for breath.

Finally, he gasped out, "N-N-Not...fuck...Not dis-gus-ted?" Guzma grinned and answered, "Naw, a job's a job, right? Besides, it just means I'll have to keep proving to you that I'm the best."

Nettle had something cheeky to say about Guzma going up against professionals, but all that escaped him was a moan as Guzma pulled his fingers away. The head of his dick replaced them at Nettle's entrance as he trembled in anticipation.

"Ready?"

Nettle nodded and moaned loud enough to Guzma to blush as he inched his way in. Inch by inch he'd slip in, Nettle slowly becoming an incoherent drooling mess. Guzma rested one of Nettle's legs on his shoulder to maneuver easier, only to hit Nettle in the perfect spot. His cries became sharper and he squirmed, trying to rush Guzma so more of him would hit that spot.

Finally, the hands on Nettle's waist came to a stop, every inch of Guzma fully sheathed inside of Nettle. The desire and pleasure in Nettle's eyes drove Guzma crazy, a feral part of his brain chomping at the bit. It wasn't until Nettle opened his mouth and begged him to move that he let the beast inside free.

Guzma's tempo was vicious, but Nettle loved every moment of it. Every movement was intoxicating and wave after wave of pleasure filled him. He went beyond light-headed into hysterical. He didn't know what he said to Guzma but whatever it was, he was rewarded with even rougher treatment. Guzma's tempo quickened and his fingertips held on his bruising strength. Nettle was certain he'd already came, hell it felt like he was still cumming!

Finally, Guzma grabbed him by the ankles and folded him so he could grab his ankles and wrists at the same time. He loomed over Nettle and pounded straight down, forcing him to feel every thrust with his whole body. By the time Guzma finally came, Nettle was barely hanging onto consciousness.

Guzma pulled out and kissed him gently, savoring the taste of him.

"So...how'd I do?" He asked cheekily. Nettle giggled and rolled his eyes dramatically at the larger man's grin. He was going to have to change his sheets and Guzma knew that.

"I don't know..." he slurred. Guzma's grin grew impish and he stated matter-of-factly, "Don't know, huh? Guess I'll have to try again..."

Guzma buried his head in Nettle's neck and kissed the hickey he left behind. Nettle shivered and smiled. Fuck he hoped this worked out.

IT did end up working out. Guzma and Nettle became an item and Guzma ended up joining the porn industry. All it took was for Nettle's producer to catch sight of him when he came to pick up Nettle for them to try and recruit him. They talked about how much he hated working at the cafe which led to numbers and by next week Guzma was on set with his ecstatic boyfriend. Turned out Nettle got hot watching Guzma fuck and get fucked by other guys so he had no complaints. Guzma's only request was that he picked his own name.

They still laugh about it to this day.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is completely self-indulgent but I don't care. I hope you all enjoyed.


End file.
